It started at the public library. One of my coworkers mentioned the new lavender listings was out. The new what? I had no idea what he was talking about. Let me back up for one second.
With no college education I didn’t have a lot of job choices beyond customer service. Having worked counter and retail jobs I wanted something else. In high school I had been a shelver at my neighborhood branch and liked it. I applied for a circulation desk job at my city’s downtown library. A bigger environment with a diverse group of co-workers was exciting. I couldn’t afford a car and needed to be able to take care of my needs within a few block raduis. And I wanted to be fully out. I was 20 years old and felt like I needed a fresh start. I was going for Party Girl but gay and more responsible.
Back to it. My coworker let me know that once a year queer guide books were published and we carry them. They include gay handymen and lesbian caterers but they also had nightlife section. With a twinkle in his eye he said it’s fun to get out of town, see other places. I took “New York City” back to my apartment and started to dream. It seems quaint now but working at the library was a little like having internet in the 90’s. I could get curious about something and be reading about it in bed that night. My girlfriend and I thumbed through the descriptions and made a plan. I was lucky enough to have an uncle willing to host us. He was gay, creative and very snobby. I hoped my shiny, new self would earn his approval.
We arrived in October with a list of things that we had to do. We waited until I turned 21 in order to see the iconic lesbian bars. I remember we met a friend of a friend at Henrietta Hudson’s and she said how she could never live in conservative Cincinnati now that she was a New Yorker. We looked down into our beers. I knew she was also thinking, get over yourself. We also went to Meow Mix, shared a cab with a New York native who told us we were adorable, and walked all over the city in our best outfits. I bought plaid tights that I wish I still had.
Last on the list was to go out. We got it in our heads that the place to do this was the Clit Club. I can admit now that I could barely say the name at the time. What I knew was there were two parts. Upstairs, where I planned to be firmly planted, or downstairs. I understood that in dressing for a sex club you are letting people know what you’re into. I went with a gray turtleneck and thrift store jeans. My look said, just visiting.
Did I have fun? Once my nervous girl self settled, yes I did! We sipped beer and people watched like no other. It was the bravest, most amazing crowd. These women were diverse, curious about themselves and fearless in a way I had never seen. I was in awe and intimidated.
Amongst the crowd we made eye contact with another girl who was also dressed for the weather. We made space and signaled for her to sit with us. She let us know she had traveled alone from Ireland and was staying in a youth hostel. I remember she told a story of a man open mouth gawking at her holding hands with a girl. It dawned on me that closed minded is more universal than I had thought. We marveled at the crowd and talked about our own gay bars at home. At the end of the night we just said bye. With no social anything it was a one time encounter.
We we took a cab back to my Uncle’s, tired and pleased with ourselves.